Out of Control

Whats been happening in my life. Everything seems to go wrong and then just when things seem to fall in place, something else seems to go wrong. Its been a huge roller coaster week. Everything seems to be against me. Even the f@(%!# software doesnt seem to do what its supposed to. Ok... Let me cite an example. I needed to select a few records from a table. There seemed to be a problem with that. So I tried doing a 'Select All'. That seemed to work except for the fact that the stupid software gave me a mesg which read. "Selected 306 records from 50" How in the wide world of logic did the software select 306 records from a total of apparently only 50 records. That was plain dumb stupid and I almost broke the computer when I saw that. Things have just been extremely frustrating and I just need to get out and do something which will take my mind off things. All these ups and downs has driven me past mad. I am probably crazy enuf and pessimistic enuf to drive even the shrink nuts. Not that 'they' are not or they are. Anyways.. hopefully I will feel better next week and thats when I will get back to thy blog with a smile.

Interestingly I'm not the only person who feels like this. Someone else has managed to express himself only better.

http://somebody-kill-me.blogspot.com/

feeling low, getting pissed,
all this talk and this shit;
makes me angry inside,
'cause i have nothing to hide;

i just knew something's wrong,
'cause this wait, seems so long;
when you did admit it,
told myself to just chill;

but i can't and i won't,
slash myself, hear me groan;
the blood splatters around,
as i fell to the ground;

pick myself, off the floor,
throw my weight on the door;
oozing out of the wound,
the colour change to maroon;

sat myself on the bed,
i just cry and i said;
"fuck this shit, and this world!"
took a chair and i hurl;

cried again and again,
the pain just won't go away;
felt like my chest was dug,
and my heart taken out;

and be thrown in an abyss,
down it goes and felt so pleased;
as i struggled on two feet,
with a hole that's dug so deep;

took a knife from the sink,
feel the blade on my chin;
i went down to my neck,
as i position the knife;

one last cut, to the throat,
as i slid, i felt bold;
on the floor, where i drop,
goodbye world, thanks a lot...